I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, disorganised and frustrated lately. I keep starting projects then despairing of ever finishing them. Old projects are being neglected. I’ve always been good at using little bits of spare time through the day to get things done – morning tea time, lunchtime, while watching tv at night – but I can seem to get organised. When I do, I can’t enjoy it. I start to knit but all I can think is that I should be spending the time on more worthy pursuits, like art. If a social engagement comes along I resent it for taking up creative time, but then I’m too out of it to get any creative stuff done anyway. Minor annoyances, like this cat adoption thing, bug me more than they should.

But it’s all perfectly normal. It’s how I get when I’m chasing a writing deadline. A lot of creative energy goes into my work, leaving none for spare time or days off – and by then I usually need to give my back a rest anyway. Patience runs thin and the fantasy of time off when the book is finished sours as the list of things to do post-deadline starts to get depressingly, ridiculously huge.

Now that I’ve recognised the symptoms, I know it’s time to make some rules:

1. The only non-writing activities I’m allowed to do must be for my mental and physical health. Eat, sleep, exercise. Simple, no-pressure sanity-restoring art and craft like sock knitting and life drawing. A couple of social outings so I don’t forget how to interact with people.
2. Go out on days off to prevent cabin fever.
3. A little indulgence is allowed (so long as it is a little). Chocolate. Wine. Shopping. Long, hot bubble baths.
4. Pressure to reduce stash, be it of yarn, books or anything else, is on hold.
5. Don’t think about Christmas. Christmas is months and months away.

I’ve also decided that if I haven’t heard back about the cat after a week (Thursday) it’s time to forget about it and move on.