Knitterly Isolation and Embarassing Outbreaks of Dissatisfaction

A big THANKYOU to everyone who commented yesterday. I really wasn’t fishing for comments and I don’t want to make anyone feel guilty for not commenting enough – I’m certainly not a prolific commenter myself.

But I’d be a liar if I said the comments everyone left didn’t make me feel a lot better. There was a shallow ego boost, and there was insight. It is reassuring to see that others feel much like I do – that I don’t feel my blog is significant but I don’t mind, and that I’m a bit slack in commenting because I’m a bit shy, or too tired, or feel silly complimenting over and over.

The more I thought about it yesterday, the more convinced I was that the no-comments thing was just a side-effect of another source of dissatisfaction. So I did what I used to do pre-blogging. I sat down and just wrote. I let the words follow one after another then stopped and read them to see what I thought.

(The liquorish allsorts beanie, delivered to its new owner today. In fact, a few hours later Dad was still wearing it. Inside the house. I think he’d forgotton it was there.)

What I ended up with was an article on isolation – the effects of isolation on knitters in Australia. It pointed out how the low population meant fewer knitters spread over greater distances. It also talked about the difficulties and delays in getting hold of yarn and magazines, despite the internet, and how this made it hard for Australian knitters to join in with the latest product or pattern. And if we weren’t able to get hold of it, we wouldn’t be blogging about it, so overseas blog readers would have less reason to find and read our sites. Or listen to our podcasts.

And then I wondered about Aussie yarn manufacturers, asking why US knitters would bother mail-ordering anything here if something just as good was available in their shops. (At this point it started to get a bit off-topic, and the writing frenzy petered out, so I knew I’d pretty much encompassed what was bothering me.)

Unfortunately, it wasn’t an article that I’d imagine any magazine wanting to publish. At least not in it’s current state. I could beat it into a more saleable shape… but that would be too much like Work. (As in, what I do for a living.)

(The Zhivago Top is coming along nicely. Though the lace pattern takes concentration, I haven’t stuffed it up once. Yet.)

I also realised I had more personal issues about isolation contributing to my state of mind. Almost a year ago a long-term close friendship I had began to go pear-shaped and it’s been creeping into my thoughts lately. (It was your classic ‘don’t get involved in a friend’s marriage problems… but what can you do when they insist on trying to get you waaaaaay too involved then get p*ssed off when you run screaming?’ scenario.) I miss having the sort of friend you talk out things with when either of you needs a good natter. The beau really isn’t a substitute, sweet and understanding though he is. I suspect I’ve been telling anyone who would listen (the post office staff, the lawnmowing man, my art teacher, the hairdresser) about my house/work/life stresses. It’s embarrassing. (I realise that admitting this means any potential crafting buddies are going to run screaming, but I figure the damage is done. You all probably think I’m insane already.)

(The house extension is really coming along. Last week we got roof beams. Today the metal support framework for the decking went up.)

Anyway, like all Moments of Questioning, this one has run its term and left me a bit wiser (with emphasis on the ‘bit’) and somewhat embarrassed. I reckon it was sparked as much by listening to several hours of podcasts on the weekend as a lack of comments. There’s only so much Maryland Sheep Festival and shop/yarn/gadget reviewing and knit-buddy yarn-crawl road-trip romping you can take before you want to impode from envy.

(We discovered on the weekend that the house extension can be seen from the freeway extension. It’s the blue bit on top of the red bit just above the right top of the sound barrior.)

And the podcast? Just after I made the first one, I got the flu. I didn’t have the energy to go looking for music and by the time I did two thirds of the podcast was out of date. Since then I’ve had a persistent, annoying cough that keeps coming back as soon as I think I’ve lost it. Now that work is going to be getting much more demanding on my time and energy, I’m going to put the idea on hold for a while.

After all, there’s all that knitting to be done.

8 thoughts on “Knitterly Isolation and Embarassing Outbreaks of Dissatisfaction

  1. I found your blog through the sockmonsters group. Hang in there – I am the only knitter in my friends (they are all mad quilters – actually I’m a mad quilter too, but I’ve rediscovered knitting so now I’m a mad knitter as well). I enjoy reading blogs but only comment when I have a block of time and with 5 children at home including a near-three year old, that’s not very often. I love the allsorts hat – my DH would laugh his socks off if I made him one of those 🙂

  2. I really do know what you mean about the isolation as a knitter thing. I read even your blog and you have way more yarn stores to visit than we have out our way. I kinda got too annoyed with the STR Sock club because nooone would wait till the rest of us in the world got our skein before spoiling the surprise. And pretty much all the lovely yarn that makes knitting sooooo much more an experience (colour, texture etc) comes added with postage and a 2 to 3 week wait.

    *sigh*

    G;ad its not just me.

  3. Ah the wails of the Australian knitter :-/ One day I am going to go to Maryland and/or Rhinebeck and SPA and all those sorts of gobsmacking events. I am going to meet a crapload of US bloggers – some are happy to have me stay with them. Maybe we should save up pennies and create a tour.
    I’m waaay behind on your posts but your hippo socks look great 🙂
    Must catch up soon – I’ll be starting temping soon, hopefully not full time but it depends on what I get paid. Sigh.

  4. Hey there! Thanks for being the BEST Secret PAL in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD (thats a www for you).
    You really have been great, and keep up the blogging, I want to read the whole of your blog and then come back and find new posts.
    The scenario you discribed sounds very like the scenario thats in Ireland, (with the exception of the vast country that is Australia!). We have no proper LYS’s, can’t (hardly)get any of the yarn thats talked about in the US, find it hard to join some of the knitalongs and exchanges,and there are only SnB groups emerging over the last year really!
    I’ll definately be coming back to your blog often and commenting at times….
    Oh and I agree with keeping a tracker, its amazing seeing how many people visit and read, but may not leave a comment..

  5. Good Lord woman, you have my email address and my phone number and you know how to use them! *smack*

  6. As I was letting my knitterly frustrations bleed out over the keyboard, the thought that there were other knitters even more isolated than I out there was definitely in the back of my mind and I felt a strong sympathy for them.

    I suspect that I thought moving closer to the city, getting broadband and having a decent income would somehow be all I needed to enter the worldwide community. Now I can see that it doesn’t and I’m starting to see why, and that it affects all of us, from the outback knitter to the inner city s’n’b chick.

    We so need to get together and organise the Great International Stash Enhancement Tour!

  7. sandra – if you love the liquorish allsorts hat, you’ll adore the liquorish allsorts jumper, which you’ll find here: http://knittingandchocolate.blogspot.com/2006/07/catching-up.html.

    girlie jones – that sock club spoiling sucks!

    lynne – I’m definitely going to a US sheep fest one day! Last year I missed the UK one by mere weeks. We should definitely save our pennies and do a tour.

    tangelled angel – *blush* Thanks. I reckon you might have an even more tough situation in Ireland. Is it true that there are no wool manufacturers there?

    peevish – is that a hint you want to go on a yarn crawl road trip?

  8. Can’t remember how I found your blog, but I read all my discovered blogs every week. I am just starting to add comments and had to add one to yours to let you know I’m reading, and enjoying. I don’t know anyone else who knits (except my Mum) and I love hearing about other peoples projects.

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